Archive for July, 2007

At your company, you probably have things like job descriptions … and you definitely have job titles. They come as dear as corner offices sometimes; they are a mark of seniority, of power, of importance within the company. Are you a senior, senior executive? Is a secretary above or below a personal administrative assistant?

Here are a few jobs that I hope you have job titles (and descriptions) for:

The person whose job is to think of cool free services that will make your clients happy

The person whose job it is to call and mend bridges if a bill/invoice is going to go unpaid or if a letter/order has gone awry before the person on the receiving end expects it

The person whose job is it to make sure the interns aren’t spending their entire day filing

The person whose job is it to listen to the janitorial staff about ways that you can create a cleaner or more streamlined environment for your workers

The person whose job is it to make sure the new guy gets fully integrated into the corporate culture and not just trained for his job

The person who gets paid for playing the devil’s advocate in board meetings

The person who gets promoted if they take a good hard look at the systems and protocols that your company uses and figures out ways to cut costs and paperwork and be more efficient

The person whose job is it to cut the number of meetings employees must attend

The person whose job is it to make sure everyone answers the phone professionally and can write a grammatically correct E-mail

If you want to try a really fun exercise, bring this list to your next meeting and read them to the group. Figure out whose job it is to do these very distinct, very important jobs. I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a lot of finger pointing. At least one person will raise their hand and say, “I think that’s my boss’ job.” Because these not only sound like important tasks, they sound like boring or painful tasks. But what if you had people do all these jobs? What if all these jobs were part of your job description? What if all these jobs were part of everyone’s job description?

I feel like at some point there will be a book that introduces women to the business world without 1) telling them “This book will allow you to be feminine and own a business!” or 2) “This book will allow you to be feminine and run a good business!”

I feel like women my age (and younger) are definitely not concerned about how their femininity will be effected by their business ambition. Perhaps we are concerned about the possibility/probability of juggling other life ambitions (family/friends/children/home) — (and never, ever forget: dealing with other women in the business world… ugh! This needs to be addressed by a full line of books, probably shelved in the self-help section.)

Most of my friends grew up with both parents working. They are different than the generation before them, both men and women expect to be working their entire lives these days… so why are we still fumbling around with business books that are only in the position to give us advice on keeping (or regaining) our femininity?

Business books for women have always been a square peg to the round hole – it’s always been about what problems are women having in the work place, how do we react and interact with those problems? (Because, I suppose, business books have replaced mentorships – so, think of browsing your business book aisle as stepping into the doorway of your favorite mentor. Hopefully your author/mentor isn’t berserk) (smile). And the question they are always addressing is how we can get ahead without seeming like men. Is this really a problem?

I think the idea is right, but I think we are addressing the wrong issues. Our problems were and are: getting older men to take us seriously without treating us like daughters. Getting younger men to take us seriously without taking us to bed. Being able to dress in a way that allows us to express our individuality and sexuality without “disrupting the men folk.” And perhaps more or less… be able to follow our lives and ambitious (especially when it becomes a choice between work or family) towards work, without having to explain why and how to our mothers, husbands, and oh-so-pregnant best friends.

The very things that men take for granted are the things that women need to know about – and somehow we’ve stifled the very questions (to hard to ask, to hard to answer) and instead came up with, “Keep your femininity!”

This is nothing more than a marketing issue, if that’s the case. That nothing personal matters (truly) in the business world and instead it is only how you project yourself: it’s branding.

Then its two books, really:

How to brand yourself

And

How to organize your life around your career goals

Well, Ok, That makes more sense to me already… my mother used to say that men didn’t know what they want, so it was a woman’s job to make them think they knew. And, if she does it right, they’ll be thinking exactly what she wants him to think.

Manipulation? Yes… but why are there no business books there that allow women to take advantage of the ingrained (practically) from birth skills? Look, use the same skills that you use to manipulate your boyfriend into taking you to see that chick flick on your boss or coworkers at the office, here is how.

What would men say? What would the publisher say?

What would the women say? (gasps all around, because that idea is neither friendly nor feminine, it’s sneaky and bold, and a good woman would never do such a thing… well, to your husband is different).

Then again, I’ve only read four or five titles recently on women in business… I’m sure (hoping that) I’m missing one or two that I definitely should read… Please send me a list or leave me a comment with your favorite titles. I’ll do my best to read them all.

- NMC

Before I get any hate mail, please know that I am not particularly for (nor against) the killing of defenseless bunnies. Now, if those bunnies happened to be armed…
Kidding, bad joke, sorry. Been spending too much time in Jersey.

Or on the web.

I came across a link on Bob Parsons’ website that linked to SaveToby.com. Old news to some of you (I apologize for the redundancy), the story behind this website is that a young man allegedly found a very sweet looking bunny, injured, beneath his porch. He then took pictures of it and created a crappy looking website (the URL was purchased and hosted on GoDaddy.com hence the Parsons connection) with a connection to PayPal and told the world if he didn’t receive $50k in donations (apparently the price to “keep” a bunny these days), he was going to eat Toby.

Pictures followed of an adorable Toby in a cooking pot. Recipes for Toby Stew were linked on the left. Articles and hate mail poured in and were posted for the general viewing public.

Pictures and “SaveToby” merchandise was sold… and eventually a book deal was made.

Now, let’s set aside the moral and ethical issues we may (or may not) have with the concept behind SaveToby. I personally have no qualms about eating a rabbit, although friends of mine have expressed dismay at the idea that “some guy could make fifty grand by playing off of people’s emotions!” Isn’t that how anyone makes money, though?

So, here are a few things that I’ve noticed on the SaveToby website that may (or may not) help you market yourself, your business, or your bunny. Use at your own risk:

1) There are basically only three reactions to the SaveToby website: disgust, horror or humor. If you wanted to save Toby, you might have sent in a “donation.” If you thought this was hilarious, you might have sent the site owner a dollar or bought some merchandise. Either way, people who visited this website hardly ever felt apathetic. A strong emotion is important in any story.
2) Hate this site? Love it? Think it’s stupid? The site is definitely not pandering to the fluffy-animal-lover in all of us. It may be in bad taste, but it’s refreshingly straightforward in its concept and on the stand it takes.
3) People will wear commercial material (i.e. walking billboard: branded icon t-shirts) if you a) give it to them for free and the rest of their wardrobe is dirty or if they somehow relate a part of their personality to the idea(ls) behind the shirt. That might sound weird, but someone who bought a Save Toby shirt obviously had to feel strong about the site in order to purchase (and wear) such a shirt. People bond with their possessions, sad but true – and the twelve year old, red haired kid I saw last week at the mall wearing a t-shirt that says, Trust Me, I’m a Doctor, obviously felt that message expressed a part of his personality.
4) Make a message worth spreading. Obviously it doesn’t have to be serious, or life-changing, it just has to be conversation-worthy.
5) Throw in a picture of a cute bunny. People like bunnies.

Everyone in marketing/PR is a salesperson of sorts, and the old line about sales is that if you aren’t closing them, they are closing you (Thank you Glen Garry Glen Ross). But because consumers (and journalists) are so damn savvy these days, everyone is onto the old sales tricks. This is why big flashy marketing campaigns and major price cuts don’t have the same effect they used to: we’re all wise to the ways of the salesman and you can’t bullshit a bullshitter.

That said, my best friend has a great quote: You can’t bullshit a bullshitter, but you can sell a salesman. And now that we’re all salesman, this should be easy. You just need to be a better salesman than your target audience (smirk).

So here’s the deal – to sell me (ahem) – you need to do the following:

Identify your target audience: Let’s pretend I’m your target audience. You need to learn about me: what I like, how much I make, where I am, etc.

You then need to empathize with me. Dude, this is the step that everyone seems to forget. It’s like the age of convenience out there and it’s just not that convenient to do this much work. But, ask any journalist how many crap pitches they receive each day (or go to the Bad Pitch Blog) and they’ll tell you that the majority of the crappiest are the ones that they know have been mass-mailed to every journalist from here to Katmandu. So, let’s slow down and assume that the work you’re going to put in on the front end will pay off in a more refined pitch list.

Ok, back to my point: You need to empathize with me. What do I need and what do I want? The best pitch will answer my needs and satisfy my wants – while at the same time answer my concerns (both the ones I have now and the ones I will have after I buy your product/service/line).

Ever hear about buyer’s remorse (BR)? It’s the first step towards killing repeat business and there is nothing simpler than squashing this emotional quagmire. For a pitch to a journalist, killing BR is as simple as maintaining a thoughtful relationship and providing them with the information they need to do their job effectively. They will not regret working with you (or buying your pitch).

Selling to me? Give me a reason to feel good about my purchase… and saving money just doesn’t do it anymore. If I wanted to save money, I would’ve left my wallet at home. What I want is to feel like my money is doing something for me more in your wallet than in my own: What are you trying to sell? A computer: Give me a MacBook and tell me that I didn’t just buy a computer I’ve bought a personality and a piece of a community where when I say, ‘I’m a mac user’ people will either roll their eyes or become my best friend. A donation? Remind me that the money helped X people and do so before and unrelated to asking for more money. Sustain that relationship! Are you trying to sell me a house? Great real estate agents will keep sustaining that relationship in the simplest of ways: by providing a great service and then by sending those weird Christmas cards/magnet calendars, so that when your best friend wants to move into town or your next door neighbor needs to leave town, you have your favorite, great agent’s contact information directly under your nose.

But really, the easiest way to sell me is by doing your job correctly and well. I will know it’s a sales pitch (we always know, don’t we?) but a good sales pitch, the best ones, will make me want to say, ‘Yeah, I knew it was a line but it was just so good…’

Is your technique there yet?
Why not?

Frustrated Saleswoman,
Nadia Cornier

Disclaimer:
All sales tips (and general angsty-ness) are Nadia and not at all reflective of the strain your bad pitches put on the Punk Marketing authors (please visit The Bad Pitch Blog - link to the right - for an idea of the strain you place on Richard). Misspellings? Never! Any and all concerns or gripes about poorly formed ideas can be addressed, in the form of a sales letter, to me at nadia at punkmarketing dot com.

Good marketing is about cliche ideas.
Great marketing is about recognizable ideals.

Good marketing has complex elements.
Great marketing encourages complex emotions.

Good marketing has a “hook.”
Great marketing has meaning.

Good marketing relies on hot topics.
Great marketing doesn’t rely on anything.