When They Close You

Everyone in marketing/PR is a salesperson of sorts, and the old line about sales is that if you aren’t closing them, they are closing you (Thank you Glen Garry Glen Ross). But because consumers (and journalists) are so damn savvy these days, everyone is onto the old sales tricks. This is why big flashy marketing campaigns and major price cuts don’t have the same effect they used to: we’re all wise to the ways of the salesman and you can’t bullshit a bullshitter.

That said, my best friend has a great quote: You can’t bullshit a bullshitter, but you can sell a salesman. And now that we’re all salesman, this should be easy. You just need to be a better salesman than your target audience (smirk).

So here’s the deal – to sell me (ahem) – you need to do the following:

Identify your target audience: Let’s pretend I’m your target audience. You need to learn about me: what I like, how much I make, where I am, etc.

You then need to empathize with me. Dude, this is the step that everyone seems to forget. It’s like the age of convenience out there and it’s just not that convenient to do this much work. But, ask any journalist how many crap pitches they receive each day (or go to the Bad Pitch Blog) and they’ll tell you that the majority of the crappiest are the ones that they know have been mass-mailed to every journalist from here to Katmandu. So, let’s slow down and assume that the work you’re going to put in on the front end will pay off in a more refined pitch list.

Ok, back to my point: You need to empathize with me. What do I need and what do I want? The best pitch will answer my needs and satisfy my wants – while at the same time answer my concerns (both the ones I have now and the ones I will have after I buy your product/service/line).

Ever hear about buyer’s remorse (BR)? It’s the first step towards killing repeat business and there is nothing simpler than squashing this emotional quagmire. For a pitch to a journalist, killing BR is as simple as maintaining a thoughtful relationship and providing them with the information they need to do their job effectively. They will not regret working with you (or buying your pitch).

Selling to me? Give me a reason to feel good about my purchase… and saving money just doesn’t do it anymore. If I wanted to save money, I would’ve left my wallet at home. What I want is to feel like my money is doing something for me more in your wallet than in my own: What are you trying to sell? A computer: Give me a MacBook and tell me that I didn’t just buy a computer I’ve bought a personality and a piece of a community where when I say, ‘I’m a mac user’ people will either roll their eyes or become my best friend. A donation? Remind me that the money helped X people and do so before and unrelated to asking for more money. Sustain that relationship! Are you trying to sell me a house? Great real estate agents will keep sustaining that relationship in the simplest of ways: by providing a great service and then by sending those weird Christmas cards/magnet calendars, so that when your best friend wants to move into town or your next door neighbor needs to leave town, you have your favorite, great agent’s contact information directly under your nose.

But really, the easiest way to sell me is by doing your job correctly and well. I will know it’s a sales pitch (we always know, don’t we?) but a good sales pitch, the best ones, will make me want to say, ‘Yeah, I knew it was a line but it was just so good…’

Is your technique there yet?
Why not?

Frustrated Saleswoman,
Nadia Cornier

Disclaimer:
All sales tips (and general angsty-ness) are Nadia and not at all reflective of the strain your bad pitches put on the Punk Marketing authors (please visit The Bad Pitch Blog - link to the right - for an idea of the strain you place on Richard). Misspellings? Never! Any and all concerns or gripes about poorly formed ideas can be addressed, in the form of a sales letter, to me at nadia at punkmarketing dot com.

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